Ong bak 2 (Tony Jaa, 2008) IMDB LinkI’m a big supporter of Tony Jaa. I like to talk about him, whenever people discuss Jackie Chan and Jet Li. I go, pff, they are old, the new hip martial arts guy is Tony Jaa, people. Forget those grandpas.
I was already a big fan of “Ong Bak” and “Tom yum goong” and took my friends with me to watch “Ong Bak 2” on the big screen. They need a bit of insisting on my side, since they did not want to watch a silly Thai movie. I told them not to expect a good story, but the action would kick their ass.
They did not expect a good story, nor got it, and the action did not kick their ass, nor did it kick my ass. “Ong Bak 2” was a big disappointment compared to his two previous major features. It should not even be called “Ong Bak 2” as it has nothing to do with the first one. “Tom yum goong” and “Ong Bak” are more alike, then the supposed sequel. While the first one is set in present times, the sequel is set sometime in the past. Not sure the exact era, but they live in jungles and don’t have TV, WAY PAST.
The story in Tony Jaa’s movies has never been things to look out for, but at least, it had a small set-up, and it got out of the way quickly enough. This time around, the film-makers think they are making some great martial arts epic, and they take their plot very seriously, meaning that in between fights, you get completely boring fillers. And worst of all, it does not even end. Like “Kill Bill”, this film is a two-parter, with the second (or third, depending on how you want to look it) one to be released after this and to continue the story.
I guess, it is time someone from Hollywood gets him to America and makes him star in a movie where he joins forces with a black guy or runs for president or takes care of spoilt children.
2/5
Halloween II (Zombie, 2009)IMDB LinkRob Zombie did a pretty good job with the remake of “Halloween”. I like horror remakes more than any other remakes. It seems to be one genre that a remake can present an old product with a new fresh look. No matter how classic they are, horror films are still not “Godfather”, so I don’t mind a remake.
Although, I’m not sure why Zombie did a sequel to it. Even John Carpenter did not direct the original sequel himself. He had made a great horror film, and moved on. Rob Zombie proved naysayers wrong by making an above average remake of the first film, so why did he not just move on? With “The Devil’s Rejects”, he had already proven that he could handle making a great horror film, so why does he have to rely on sequel remakes?
Zombie’s “Halloween 2” is decent, but not where I want Zombie’s filmmaking path to take him. I give him props for paving his own way with this film and not trying to retrace the original’s footsteps. No reason to make a remake, if you don’t have the balls to shake things up a bit. And I like the brutal feel of the whole thing.
But Zombie had the initial momentum, and felt like he could be a major, consistent horror director. I hope he has gotten the “Halloween” franchise out of his system, and goes back on track.
3/5
The Midnight Meat Train (Kitamura, 2008)IMDB LinkIt is strange. Movies based on novels usually don’t work because the film medium cannot contain all the details of a book. But at the same time, it seems movies based on SHORT STORIES work even less. By trying to stretch the short story to fit a feature film, these movies seem to almost never succeed.
“The Midnight Meat Train” is based on a short story by Clive Barker. The story was a quick read, with a weird ending, and it all worked, BECAUSE it was SHORT.
Someone is killing people on a train and it is up to a photographer to find out what is going on. A few gore here and there, and you get the explanation in the end. In the story, it is an interesting finish to a short story, but in the film, it is out of place, because it does not match the tone, feel, and content of the film prior to the ending.
You could say the story did not have enough…meat.
Oh, and the film is another shitty horror film directed by a non-American director that was brought in to Hollywood and given a crappy film to direct and the director probably shat his pants in excitement, knowing that he finally arrived in U. S. A. Nine years before this film, the director was in Japan and made “Versus”, a ridiculously fun movie.
2/5
Love Happens (Camp, 2009)IMDB Link“Funerals are important rituals. They're not only recognition that a person has died; they're recognition that a person has lived.”Yes, I watched “Love Happens”, starring Jennifer Aniston, and a synopsis that says, “About a widower whose book about coping with loss turns him into a best-selling self-help guru. On a business trip to Seattle, he falls for a woman who attends one of his seminars, only to learn that he hasn't yet truly confronted his wife's passing”, a poster with the two characters leaning towards each other, smiling, and a tagline that says, “Sometimes when you least expect it…”
This is not my kind of film at all. But movies, like life, sometimes occurs irregardless of your desires.
Thankfully, the film did not make me want to slice my throat with my car keys. Obviously, it wasn’t good (how could it have been?), but it was just barely tolerable. It has most of the crappy, re-used scenes you have seen a million times before, such as an ending where the character says something, and the audience is silent, and then one person starts clapping, and then another person starts clapping, and soon everyone starts clapping. But at least it did not end with one of the couple leaving the other because of a conflict, going to the airport, and then other person running after them trying to make it on time. It did not have that, but I almost feel someone in the filmmaking crew wanted to put it in.
2/5